tomxrocker

04:16 pm: lol. i dunno what to say now. that like, made my day suck even more. dont care much about people feelings. it doesnt matter, staf doesnt wanna be friends with u right now so leave him to it, dont get upset over it cos u guys will make up later. oh yeah and thanks for running off today before I had a chance to say bye. Cut. im not suprised when I say i love u it has no affect. im not gonna say it again now. and annoymus I apreciated you trying to help but if I/me/stafford needed it we would have asked someone already so can u plz buzz off. ty. Bec, tell me what u and mrs.hullet talk about. And what did u mean today when u told me about it? and also I just read staffords entry and I have to agree with him, dont tell white lies. It pisses me off. And when ur telling someone something important, u dont have to screw up ur face like there gonna hit u? just say it straight. no bodys gonna care.

bla

07:18 pm: im so fucking cut. I just got off the phone with Rebeca. fuck. fuckfuckfuck. I just wanna help her so much. Shes never gonna realise how much i care about her. I keep trying and everytime i try i just get beaten back and cut so bad. Im so upset. She says i dont understand. I KNOW EXACTLY what is going on but u wont let me help! Trust me babe. I know. I know what ur feeling like. I've been through it all. I've even tried to "leave" .you should be thankfull you havent. I love you so so so so so much! But you wont even heed my advice. Just for a while, can't you try to be optimistic. I know its hard for you with everything but why do you have to care so much. Generally about everyones feelings. Like before when I said i felt like shit u like, started to get upset! BEC! i dont fucking care if i feel like shit! I actually like it! u dont need to get upset over other peoples feelings. Im probably wrong but i think that you worry too much about the consequences (sometimes) in different stuff in ur life. Pay more attention to yourself. I dont mean your appearence. Theres nothing wrong with that. you're beautiful. I mean how you feel. Dont give a shit about other people, and who its gonna hurt. Because they will get over it in a second. I feel so bad because you said i dont understand. I know whats going on and i know how i can help you. But do you even want to get better? do you want to just stay miserable for the rest of your life? Ive been throught exactly the same as you. Ive wanted to die b4. ive thought that my parents dont even love me. but it all changed once i met you. I just wanna help you! why dont we run away from home for a while :) I just want to help. I feel like i have just been turned down after asking someone out. We were sooo close in the holidays. I could have told you anything. I felt like i could lift a car over my head. You made me feel so strong and safe. Now we're back at school everything has just gone downhill. I just wish that you could be happy because it hurts me every day to see you like this! not because its your fault, but because i care about you so much. Why do you think everything is your fault all the time? You think it is your fault that people feel shit? Becy, you dont control their emotions. I know ur such a caring person and u dont want to hurt anyone. U cant just tiptoe thru life trying to avoid hurting peoples feelings. Like, if you started going out with james, how do u think daniel would feel? you dont need to care about things like that! focus on yourself, and what you want. If daniel still liked you could you honestly say u would still go out with James, or would u be to scared to hurt Daniel.

Just something to think about...
I wanted to say I love u today but i feel like such a dick when i say it because it doesnt have any affect on you. we love you for who you are. We love u so much. We dont care if u stuff up! we dont care if u hurt our feelings! you tell me you hurt geneva's feelings all the time but is she still your best friend? she said to me today that she was still your best friend, even tho u do some stupid things sometimes, and annoy her. Thats exactly like people you accidently hurt. They're not gonna hate u just cos u annoy them every now and again. Please for fucks sake take my advice. it could save you one day

We all love you

Your Best Friend,
Tom

06:39 pm: .
cunt.





i just felt like writing a swear.

05:31 pm: dont fucking "JEEZ" me! u said we were almost cheating! in those very fucking words.

05:14 pm: I just had to comment on that journal entry aswell stafford. If u dont want people to come up and say shit to u ur most welcome to delete us off ur friends list so we cant read it. Sometimes sorry isnt enough. Especially in this case. I dont know why u think that just by saying sorry about 20 times is gonna help and make things immediately back to the way they were b4. Life doesnt work like that. Go write ur own personal journal on PAPER if u dont wanna get bagged.